Pepperidge Farm Coconut Layer Cakes & Your Local Radio Personalities
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Dear Candy Stripers,
And here is my niece Lucinda,
who is nine and a true daughter of Texas,
who has developed the flounce of a pedigreed blonde
and declares that her favorite sport is shopping.
Today is the day she embarks upon her journey
— Tony Hoagland “At the Galleria Shopping Mall”
Love,
VF
🧡 The Very Famous Five 🧡
Sierra Grace, “Primordial Princess of Hollywood Beach”, is doing the lord’s work and saving “Floridiana” aka all of the architecture and design that makes Florida —> Florida. Check it all out here, and read her essay on gorgeous Florida department store Burdines! I’d wager it’s the prettiest, most evocatively regional department store there ever was.
You take a step back. It feels good to be in such a beautifully pleasing environment. You soak it all in. You’re entertained, you feel glamorous, you feel special. The storefront pulls on you like a powerful magnet until you’re connected. Suddenly, a surge of dopamine is triggered, and you realize you are completely immersed in a masterpiece of retail theater. A total and complete Full Florida Fantasy.
Thanks to Ellis Feaster, radio broadcast snippets, airchecks, top of the hour jingles, etc from various cities, regions, decades, and genres are being saved. The local DJs whose voices soundtracked your car rides with your parents (looking at you, Big Al & Charlie Q94.5 The Rock!) and Friday evening aimless drives are being archived by Ellis, and the comment sections are filled with memories.
“about four hours of the very finest in good old toenail clipping ankle busting knee knocking country” 1957 KWFT Wichita Falls, TX
“don’t call me no disc jockey because I’m not a disc jockey, I’m a human radio station” 1981 WNNR New Orleans
“That’s Grateful Dead doing a classic traffic song Dear Mr. Fantasy it’s 7:22 this is Chris Allen all the way up to the noon hour, time to check in with the local weather, and stick around because I’m gonna be giving away a $10 gift certificate from Rum Runners” 1991 WAIL 99.5 Key West
3. Good host tip from Amy Sedaris!
“Keep one in your freezer for when an unexpected guest drops by. 15 minutes to thaw out. 7 bucks.”
4. “THE NIGHTLIFE REVIEW PT. 9: SWEAT, SEX, SLEEP, REPEAT BY VIVIAN MEDITHI” —> produced by Dirt & Elsewhere
Insistent and unyielding, this perfume’s herbaceous buzz mirrors the pitched-up synths swarming under “Gucci Time,” sillage as loud as a Swizz Beatz adlib. In nightclubs heavy with cloying fragrance, why would you want to be the sugar cube when you could be the absinthe?
5. The Local Woman? This week, she’s…
☆ “speak[ing] about work with cheetahs” in Newburyport, Massachusetts
☆ known for her tamales — and “for feeding the homeless population in the area” in Santa Maria, California
☆ finishing a triathlon by running 24 miles on a broken ankle in Evanston, Wyoming
☆ selling Taco Bell burrito wrappers from 1992 in Redmond, Oregon
🧡 Blingee Museum Entry of the Week 🧡 “Christmas Chihuahua” by sneaker15